Fasting was usually done by the very public figures of the Pharisees. They knew fasting was to be a sign of humility, but they turned it into a publicity stunt. These hypocrites would disfigure themselves to look super-sad and woebegone.
Jesus gave new instructions for fasting. He said we should not look somber but wash our faces, anoint ourselves with oil as usual, and go about our daily work when we must, but to spend our fast praying to our Father who is unseen, or secret, and He will reward us openly. Jesus' main point here is that we should not show off our intimate prayer time with God. The results will be seen openly later, when God answers our prayers, but we need to respect the intimacy of our relationship with our Heavenly Father.
This was crucial while in the midst of discipling or mentoring some other women; I thought in terms of showing them how to have an intimate relationship with the Lord. Right here I stopped to realize I must not do this in a show-off kind of way.
It occurs to me though, that there is a fine line between not showing off our private intimate times with our dear Lord, and teaching the how-to and importance of having a devotional life. A lot of Christians flounder because they feel so distant from God, and don't know His will, or how to discover it. Their faith is only fueled when they have an emotional worship experience in a group setting, led by others.
I need to find ways to impress on individuals the great value and blessing of developing that very personal two-way communication that is essential to a good Christian lifestyle (walk). Not everyone knows this the way a newborn foul latches onto its mare for that crucial colostrum milk.
PRAYER: Lord, others think of fasting as deprivation to get prayers answered. I agree that it is a very private, intimate time with You. It shouldn't be flaunted publically. But You notice where my heart is? I want other Christians to discover that precious, healing, learning, growing fellowship too.
P.S. Watching your friend die is HARD, isn't it? Ruthe handles it fairly well for her first time. You should read this book - you could learn from her.